Things I Ponder in my Free Time


This happened a few nights ago. By "happened" I mean I started typing and this came out. Writing this has been such a release. Its scary to share these thoughts because one, it may confirm that I am indeed going a little mad and two, we live in a confrontational society who hide behind screens waiting for an opportunity to pounce. So I thought I'd add this disclaimer: Although I talk about "we" and "society" as if I may be judging you, it is not my intention. Instead, I am just questioning my own actions and ideas I have formed through living in a western society for the most part of my life. For a while now it feels like I have been "waking up" and seeing truths everywhere, seeing things how they really are. It feels like everything is so simple, but somehow its all gotten twisted. Many of these questionings are provoked through listening to Alan Watts, and reading and listening to Sadguru and Osho (click on their names to find their work). Here's what I've been pondering for the longest time: 

How we as a collective society are buying into the idea that money exists or that its actually important. If you gave money to say a small child or a tribal leader cut off from our society they'd see it for what it really is - a piece of paper, or even better nothing at all if its in the bank. It doesn't exist and it is just an idea, but we're all just agreeing to have this system in place? And we care so much about it, it controls us and for many is the sole purpose of the work we do every single day, for our existence, even if we absolutely hate it. Also, how do some individuals have so much of it and others have nothing - why would you cling onto it if you didn't need it, and someone else was suffering? This blows my mind. 

We accept the fact that someone, someday, decided that the earth that we are a part of should be divided by imaginary lines and that if you happened to be born in a certain part of the earth you'd have more privileges than if born in another - as if you had a choice, or could help where you were born. That we get a passport, a nationality and if wanting to visit another part of the earth you cannot go freely but have to acquire a visa first. Also, some people might find it easier to get these visas if they happened to be born in a preferred area of the earth. It puzzles me that we have decided that smaller portions of this earth, the land and soil, are "ours" and that we can buy it with our imaginary money. That we can own land and how someone else "cannot come onto my property". That it doesn't just belong to everyone (all living beings). 

That there are terrible, unimaginable things happening on our planet at this present moment to living beings - humans, animals and plants. And for the most part many of us just sit around, knowing it or choosing not to see, but not doing anything. There are so many people in the world not enduring painful experiences but are living mundane lives, when as a collective we could put a stop to this suffering. I'm not exactly sure how, just that if we had to focus our collective energy into finding a solution we definitely could. Do we not care enough? Are we too self-absorbed? I sometimes wonder this about myself. Why am I not spending every waking moment rescuing as many of the tortured animals as I can that we think belong to us, saving people being trafficked as if they were objects, helping others? If I tend to think about this too much it sometimes becomes overwhelming, as if I can feel all of the suffering of the world in one moment. 

That our planet is literally dying from our doings and yet we continue with our daily lives as if nothing has changed. Sure, we recycle. This is going to put an end to the destruction of our planet? And we continue teaching our children in school things like nouns, pronouns and the format for writing a letter as if there aren't more pressing concerns. That children still take standardised tests and are asked to sit down and be quiet and spend five days or more a week learning things we have designed for them, without any choice in the matter. 

That we've totally forgotten the importance of trees. That we think they are separate from us. The oxygen we breathe is literally made by the tree to give us life, and what we breathe out becomes the tree. The tree and you become each other through this process. I often ponder this when looking at a table or chair or piece of paper made from a tree we've most likely killed, thinking how crazy its all gotten that we think a place to sit or paper to write on is more important than the air we breathe. 

We work jobs we hate for future security, for financial earnings to consume more, for societal status. But secretly we know these things don't actually exist, right? The only moment you have is right now ... you really could work your whole life for your retirement only to drop down dead and not have any of the experiences you'd hoped for. We think that time is real. Does a plant or animal use time? 

That we are so out of touch with real life. Glued to screens and obsessed with likes and followers and portraying a perfect existence. None of it is real, a "like" doesn't even exist. I recently joined social media after the longest time and after being out of it, it feels like having the wind knocked out of you going back. Like you're so overwhelmed that it feels like you're drowning. And yet, we are so numbed to it all that we don't even know whats real and what isn't anymore. 

That its all not all so serious, that life is beautiful and really just one big game.